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When Your Voice Isn’t Well Received—Here’s How to Handle It

Darlene Hawley

What do you do when you speak up and say what others might be thinking but it's not well received?

Yesterday, I had the privilege of speaking alongside five other incredible speakers at the Hera Hub Temecula Annual Business Booster Expo.

It was an inspiring day filled with insight, empowerment, and meaningful conversations. One question that came up at the end of my presentation and I didn't really get a chance to answer at the event stuck with me: What do you do when you speak up and say what others might be thinking but it's not well received?

I thought this was such a great question because we've all been there, right? Speaking up in a room, sharing your thoughts, and then feeling like the room goes cold. It can feel uncomfortable, disheartening, and sometimes even make you doubt your choice to speak at all.

I've been noodling on it all morning, and as I reflect on this, I wanted to share some thoughts in response to that question—because it's important to keep speaking up, even when it's tough (especially when it's tough).

Here are a few things to consider when you face that situation:

Stay Grounded in Your Courage

First and foremost, it takes courage to speak up, especially when you're sharing something that's not immediately met with agreement or support. Be proud of yourself for taking that step, because it's not easy. Don't second-guess your value just because the response wasn't what you hoped for. You said something that needed to be said, and that's powerful.

Assess the Reaction

When the room doesn't respond well, take a moment to step back and assess. Was the message clear? Could the delivery have been more effective? Often, it's not what we say, but how we say it that can impact how it lands with others.

Invite ConversationIf you feel tension or hesitation after speaking up, open up the dialogue. Ask questions like, "I'd love to hear your thoughts on this—what's your perspective?" or "It seems like this hit a chord—let's explore that more." This shows you're open to understanding other viewpoints, rather than just pushing your own.

Consider Timing

Sometimes a message doesn't land because it's just not the right time. Maybe the group wasn't ready to hear that perspective, or they needed more context. Reflect on whether the timing was right, and how you might approach it differently next time.

Stay Curious, Not Defensive

If your idea isn't well received, stay calm and curious. Resist the urge to get defensive. Instead, ask questions to understand the resistance. Often, this opens up a deeper conversation that helps everyone move forward with more clarity and alignment.

Learn from the Experience

Every time you speak up is an opportunity to learn. If the response isn't what you hoped for, think about how you might adjust for next time. It doesn't mean your contribution wasn't valuable—just that it may need a different approach in the future.

That question from yesterday's event was such a great reminder of the importance of speaking up, even when it feels uncomfortable. The truth is, not every share will be met with applause. But every time you use your voice, you make space for meaningful conversations to happen.

If you've ever found yourself in a situation like this, I hope these thoughts help you feel a little more confident and empowered the next time you speak up.

Let's keep the conversation going!

How do you handle it when speaking up doesn't go as planned?

I'd love to hear your experiences.

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10 Effective Communication Tips

Darlene Hawley, Personal Branding & Business Coach for service based entrepreneurs

Hey There!

I'm Darlene

As a mother, wife, connector, and dream builder, I’m Darlene Hawley, the founder of DarleneHawley.com and an Executive Leadership & Businesss Coach dedicated to empowering leaders like you.

My passion lies in helping ambitious professionals cultivate their unique leadership style while crafting an authentic and impactful personal brand. Through my coaching, we’ll work together to build a solid foundation that not only inspires your team but also drives results and growth within your organization.

Since 2007, I have been committed to guiding leaders and entrepreneurs in launching and scaling their businesses with confidence and clarity.

Today, I focus on supporting women in reaching their leadership goals and living their dream lives—all while balancing the joys of raising my family and creating meaningful memories each day.

Together, we’ll transform your challenges into opportunities, allowing you to lead with authenticity and inspire those around you.

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How to Stand Out When Speaking at Networking Events

By Darlene Hawley • September 29, 2025

When you're talking but no one's listening. Have you ever introduced yourself at a networking event… only to feel like people’s eyes glazed over? One of my clients put it perfectly: “Darlene, I share who I am and what I do, but it feels like I’m invisible. People nod politely and then move on.” She had so much value to offer. In fact, she is amazing at what she did. Yet, her introduction was all over the place. Some days she was talking to potential clients, other days to possible collaborators, and sometimes even she wasn’t sure what her main point was. And that’s why it felt like no one was listening. Why This Happens It’s not because you’re not experienced enough. It’s not because you’re not interesting enough. It’s because without clarity about who your audience is in the room and what you really want to say, your voice gets lost in the shuffle of business cards and conversations. Networking rooms are full of people competing for attention. If your message doesn’t connect directly... if it doesn’t make them pause, lean in and say, “Tell me more” ... it disappears before they even leave the event. The Shift When this client and I worked together, the first thing we did was get crystal clear about: Who she most wanted to reach in the room. What those people actually cared about. How her work specifically helped them. Once she had that clarity, her introductions started sounding different... more direct, more alive, more her. And the result? People leaned in. Instead of walking away, they asked questions. They followed up after the event. They booked time with her. Because when you find your voice and know exactly who you’re talking to, you stop being forgettable. You become someone people can’t ignore. This is exactly what we’ll be diving into in Session 1 of my Attract & Stand Out Framework: Getting clear on who your audience is. Knowing what you want to say. Communicating how you help in a way that truly connects... whether you’re introducing yourself in a room or on stage. It’s not just about having the words, it’s about the confidence to say them out loud too... with presence, authority, and ease. If you’ve been walking out of networking events feeling overlooked, let this be a gentle nudge: ~ You don’t need to try harder. ~ You don’t need to stuff more into your intro. ~ You need clarity... on your audience, your message, and your voice. That’s where visibility begins. That’s how you go from overlooked to unforgettable. Think about the last time you introduced yourself at a networking event. Could the right person in the room... your dream client or collaborator... hear you and say: “That’s me. She gets it”? ________________________________________________________ 🌀 Nervous System Regulator: The 4-7-8 Reset Feeling that anxious butterfly sensation before you introduce yourself? Try this right before you speak: Inhale quietly through your nose for a count of 4. Hold your breath for a count of 7. Exhale slowly and fully through your mouth for a count of 8. Repeat this 3–4 times. It only takes a minute, but it tells your nervous system: You’re safe. You’ve got this. When your body is calm, your voice comes through with more presence and power... and people remember you. ✨ Ready to stop feeling overlooked at networking events? Download my free guide, 6 Steps to Attract & Stand Out, and discover how to clarify your message, show up with confidence, and connect with the people who matter most. Grab it here »