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When Your Voice Isn’t Well Received—Here’s How to Handle It
What do you do when you speak up and say what others might be thinking but it's not well received?
Yesterday, I had the privilege of speaking alongside five other incredible speakers at the Hera Hub Temecula Annual Business Booster Expo.
It was an inspiring day filled with insight, empowerment, and meaningful conversations. One question that came up at the end of my presentation and I didn't really get a chance to answer at the event stuck with me: What do you do when you speak up and say what others might be thinking but it's not well received?
I thought this was such a great question because we've all been there, right? Speaking up in a room, sharing your thoughts, and then feeling like the room goes cold. It can feel uncomfortable, disheartening, and sometimes even make you doubt your choice to speak at all.
I've been noodling on it all morning, and as I reflect on this, I wanted to share some thoughts in response to that question—because it's important to keep speaking up, even when it's tough (especially when it's tough).
Here are a few things to consider when you face that situation:
Stay Grounded in Your Courage
First and foremost, it takes courage to speak up, especially when you're sharing something that's not immediately met with agreement or support. Be proud of yourself for taking that step, because it's not easy. Don't second-guess your value just because the response wasn't what you hoped for. You said something that needed to be said, and that's powerful.
Assess the Reaction
When the room doesn't respond well, take a moment to step back and assess. Was the message clear? Could the delivery have been more effective? Often, it's not what we say, but how we say it that can impact how it lands with others.
Invite ConversationIf you feel tension or hesitation after speaking up, open up the dialogue. Ask questions like, "I'd love to hear your thoughts on this—what's your perspective?" or "It seems like this hit a chord—let's explore that more." This shows you're open to understanding other viewpoints, rather than just pushing your own.
Consider Timing
Sometimes a message doesn't land because it's just not the right time. Maybe the group wasn't ready to hear that perspective, or they needed more context. Reflect on whether the timing was right, and how you might approach it differently next time.
Stay Curious, Not Defensive
If your idea isn't well received, stay calm and curious. Resist the urge to get defensive. Instead, ask questions to understand the resistance. Often, this opens up a deeper conversation that helps everyone move forward with more clarity and alignment.
Learn from the Experience
Every time you speak up is an opportunity to learn. If the response isn't what you hoped for, think about how you might adjust for next time. It doesn't mean your contribution wasn't valuable—just that it may need a different approach in the future.
That question from yesterday's event was such a great reminder of the importance of speaking up, even when it feels uncomfortable. The truth is, not every share will be met with applause. But every time you use your voice, you make space for meaningful conversations to happen.
If you've ever found yourself in a situation like this, I hope these thoughts help you feel a little more confident and empowered the next time you speak up.
Let's keep the conversation going!
How do you handle it when speaking up doesn't go as planned?
I'd love to hear your experiences.
I offer 1:1 Executive Leadership & Business Coaching & Team Trainings! If you would like to explore what working together would look like, I invite you to submit an application.
Hey There!
I'm Darlene
As a mother, wife, connector, and dream builder, I’m Darlene Hawley, the founder of DarleneHawley.com and an Executive Leadership & Businesss Coach dedicated to empowering leaders like you.
My passion lies in helping ambitious professionals cultivate their unique leadership style while crafting an authentic and impactful personal brand. Through my coaching, we’ll work together to build a solid foundation that not only inspires your team but also drives results and growth within your organization.
Since 2007, I have been committed to guiding leaders and entrepreneurs in launching and scaling their businesses with confidence and clarity.
Today, I focus on supporting women in reaching their leadership goals and living their dream lives—all while balancing the joys of raising my family and creating meaningful memories each day.
Together, we’ll transform your challenges into opportunities, allowing you to lead with authenticity and inspire those around you.
