By Darlene Hawley
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August 4, 2025
We’ve never been more connected... and never felt so unseen. With a few taps, we can join a Zoom room, drop into a DM, or post something vulnerable for hundreds of people to witness. But there's a disconnect. And in a tech-driven world where everything moves fast and engagement is measured in emoji reactions… are we truly connecting... or just being consumed? “To be recognised, you have to be seen, you have to be heard – and that requires a witnessing that can’t happen in two-second increments.” —— Allison J Pugh in her article The Unseen in Aeon Magazine You can post every day and still feel invisible. You can be in a dozen Slack channels and still feel isolated. You can have 10k followers and feel like no one is really paying attention. Because we’ve built a world where connection is constant... but deep roots are rare. The Pace of Tech vs. the Slowness of Being Seen We scroll fast. We skim emails. We record meetings and never rewatch them. But being seen takes time. It requires presence. Stillness. The very things today’s digital culture works against. And when you’re constantly “on”, but rarely witnessed... it’s easy to feel like you’re disappearing in plain sight. This is especially true for entrepreneurs and leaders. We’re told to post, share, create, show up, stay visible… and yet, we’re rewarded for comments, not true connection. That’s the tension we’re living in... and the one we need to name. Why I Don’t Create for Social (and What I Do Instead) Let’s get honest, social media isn’t the main event... it’s the after-party. The first time someone finds me isn’t on LinkedIn. It’s at a speaking event, on a podcast, or through a referral. Then they follow me on social. Then they join my newsletter. Social media isn’t where I get discovered. It’s where I nurture relationships that already exist. That’s why I don’t create for the algorithm... I write for my community. I share my heart through emails and long-form blog or video content. Then I repurpose it on social... not to “go viral,” but to stay connected. And here’s the magic part: Some of my clients? They’ve been on my list for 6+ years. Never replied to a post. Never commented. And one day... they book a call. Because they’ve been listening the whole time. They were waiting for the right moment.... not the right reel. When Tech Makes You Feel Small But even with that perspective, I still feel it. That sting when you pour your heart into a post and it gets 3 likes. That feeling after a Zoom room full of “great people!”… but the coffee chat that follows doesn't convert to referrals or business. That’s what the fast pace of our digital world does. It makes us visible... but not witnessed. It makes us accessible... but nothing deeper becomes of it. You can have the right lighting, captions, camera angle... and still feel like no one’s really seeing the person behind the post. The Shift: From Performance to Presence The solution isn’t more hustle or noise. It’s more presence. So, if you're feeling invisible right now, even while showing up “everywhere,” hit pause and take a breath. Ask yourself: Am I sharing because I have to, or from a place of inspiration? Am I connecting, or just posting to stay in the feed? Who am I hoping will really see me? Then, choose one way to show up differently this week. Call someone instead of commenting. Write the post that feels inspiring, not strategic. Or close the laptop and go be with real people, even when it feels uncomfortable. Because yes, people are watching... even if they’re silent. But more importantly, you deserve to feel connected, even when tech feels like it's sucking your soul.